Justify Decisions

by Kim Weaver

Why do we feel the need as parents to justify our decisions to others?  I know I have done it when speaking of the things I do with my daughter.  But why?  I admit it, I let my daughter play on her iPad without any interaction from me.  I let her eat processed meat and non-organic fruit.  I let her drink pop, let her wear the same clothes multiple days in a row and I don’t brush her hair every day.  Even writing this for everyone to see, I feel like I need to put disclaimers about why I do these things to make it clear I am still a good mom.  At least I think I’m a good mom and I’m doing the best I can. 

I have had other parents talk about things and then add comments after explaining the situation.  Example:  “My son watches tv sometimes, but I make sure it’s educational and do try to limit the amount of time he watches.”  I just replied that I completely understand and I let my daughter watch tv also.  The parent did not need to justify why, but it makes me wonder what makes us do that? 

I am still trying very hard to pick the battles I wish to fight when it comes to parenting.  Is it really that big of a deal if she wears non-matching clothes to the store?  Is it that bad when I bring her iPad and headphones to a restaurant so my husband and I can have a quiet meal?  As a special needs mom, we get judged quite often with looks and glares while out in public.  We even get judged verbally by snide comments or people speaking angrily at our children.  We as parents need to be more confident that what we are doing is ok.  We know our kids better than anyone else in the world.  We should be able to make a choice and not have to justify to anyone about why we make that decision. 

I want to be stronger in my choices and simply state what I do.  “I let my daughter bounce on my bed.”  Why?  Because.